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Forget the panic which has now reached galactical proportions... I am now Super Super Nervous (or in my own attempt at an African accent.... SupaNovas) and am radiating extensive amounts of nervous energy. So much so that I am finding it particularly difficult to sleep.
I already have a huge problem with sleep - a cute little problem but never the less a sleep depriver called Sienna, so it is not like I need less sleep - in fact I could do with a whole lot more sleep - 2 hours a night is just not cutting it. What little grey matter I have left, does not function well, under these conditions.
Yes, I should be trying to sleep now, but I tried earlier and failed so, when my mind wont let go my fingers usually do, thus the ranting and raving you see before you.
Sleep deprivation tends to increase the proportional size of problems about 100 fold and what could be seen as challenges become insurmountable insolvable problems.
Today I am at the No Money, No life, No friends, No point stage where I am wondering how God could have blessed me with such an Angel knowing full well I was not capable of providing everything I would like to her.
I am stressing about everything from my home life, my studies, my job, my life in general and having a severe case of lack of confidence that I will be able to do any of it at all let alone do it well.
But hopefully tonight I will sleep and when she wakes me up with those adorable butterfly kisses, I will forget that we have so little money and time and just be grateful for what we do have, love, family and each other.
I already have a huge problem with sleep - a cute little problem but never the less a sleep depriver called Sienna, so it is not like I need less sleep - in fact I could do with a whole lot more sleep - 2 hours a night is just not cutting it. What little grey matter I have left, does not function well, under these conditions.
Yes, I should be trying to sleep now, but I tried earlier and failed so, when my mind wont let go my fingers usually do, thus the ranting and raving you see before you.
Sleep deprivation tends to increase the proportional size of problems about 100 fold and what could be seen as challenges become insurmountable insolvable problems.
Today I am at the No Money, No life, No friends, No point stage where I am wondering how God could have blessed me with such an Angel knowing full well I was not capable of providing everything I would like to her.
I am stressing about everything from my home life, my studies, my job, my life in general and having a severe case of lack of confidence that I will be able to do any of it at all let alone do it well.
But hopefully tonight I will sleep and when she wakes me up with those adorable butterfly kisses, I will forget that we have so little money and time and just be grateful for what we do have, love, family and each other.
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