Chaos 2011

To say that this year has been chaos would be a gross under estimation of the truth of it all.

I haven't been on line for quite some time and haven't had a moment to lament, rant or rave about anything, possibly a good thing!

But after everything that has happened I still feel marginally optimistic.

I am not running at optimal, far from it, I am operating on empty and barely managing.

I have about 3 - 4 hours of interrupted sleep a night and my performance on a personal and professional level is directly affected but that!

Wish I had better time management or more hours in the day but since neither of those are a reality, I will cut this post short and continue with my Marking of tests and posters....

Hope the Chaos ends soon and super fabulous teacher kicks in ASAP!

A New year, A New beginning

The one thing I love about the year coming to an end is the chance to reflect on the year that has passed and the excitement that the new year brings with it. There are always good intentions in the new year and it always interests me to see if any of them lasted to the end of the year.

As this year comes to an end, I feel extreme excitement with all the New things I have to look forward to. I have a new vocation, I have a new home, a new job and am looking forward to a whole new life.

How many people are blessed enough to say they too are NEW ;-)

I hope with hard work things will continue along this path of blessing after blessing.

I am grateful and thankful for all I have.

Eyes on the Prize

Only a few weeks left of this course and then ... and then the journey really begins.

This year was the prelude to my new journey, the part where you prepare to embark and that time will soon be here... January 2011... this is the month where I will now become responsible for the effect I have on many kids futures. I will be teaching Physical Science to prospective Doctors, Engineers, Chemists, Research students who will cure many diseases with their ground breaking techniques and products. Quite scary, I just want to be an inspiring teacher who encourages rather than breaks or crushes.

Although this time is imminent, I wont be doing any teaching if I don't pass the exams which are just around the corner ! So the in next two weeks I will be sticking my head in the books and trying to conquer this thorn in my side commonly referred to as exams.

Teachers day

Teachers who inspire know that teaching is like cultivating a garden and those who would have nothing to do with thorns must never attempt to gather flowers. happy teachers day to all teachers out there may you realise what a blessing you are to so many little souls

A teacher is somewhere tonight preparing lessons to teach your children while you are watching TV. In the minute it takes you to read this, teachers all over the country are not only improving lives, but they are also sacrificing their own time for your child's literacy, prosperity, and future.

Perception and Reflection

Perception is a fickle thing swayed by mood, circumstance and state of mind.

My initial reflection on my Math lit class was one of interest and hope but as the weeks wore on my reflections became poisoned by exhaustion, by their efforts to exert their ownership of the classroom and by public bias. What I mean by this is that a lot of the girls names were on the academic detention list everyday and their efforts to do homework or participate lessened as the weeks grew longer.

With my growing frustration my reflections grew more negative and the enthusiasm I had to start became a perpetual loathing. The effort I put in far out weighed the reciprocated effort so with their decreasing interest my efforts and enthusiasm waned resulting in a stale mate.

I think the long days of me getting to school at 7 and leaving sometimes at 5:30 then working until 2am in the morning and waking at 5am to begin another day of the same might have had a lot to do with it.

Anyway, today being my last teaching day, I was presented with a present and a card from the girls in which they expressed their heartfelt thanks and appreciation and appologies for giving me such a hard time.

So now looking back at the entire experience it does not match up with my perception and daily reflection of dispair and growing negativity but instead I have once again a feeling of acomplishment, of hope and of fond memories of a class which, on paper, seems impossible.

First Disaster

Today is one of those days that, altho it has just begun, you need it to end like yesterday.

The passing of a family friend last night, the resultant lack of prep and sleep are not a good combination to teach the first two lessons of the day.

This was evident in my crash and burn teaching this morning.

First lesson Math lit, we started Unit 11 - simple ratio, proportion, measurements, areas volumes - did all the exercises before hand - but didnt think to work through the "Working example" so instead of going through the working example and then the girls getting on with the exercises we got stuck on the working example and although I knew how to do it I just couldnt verbalise it in a way that they could understand. It all ended horribly with me saying we would move on and clarify the situation tomorrow.

Then second lesson Math grade 9: A simple revision of chapter 9 : Ratio, rate and proportion - or so I thought.

I tried to let them explain what they would do so I could see if they were doing it the right way or where they were getting stuck or going wrong but that just made things worse and the ones who didnt have a clue confused the ones who did and me and the teacher had to step in and put it so simply and clearly that I felt like an ignorant idiot.

Anyway, that is my teaching done for the day and I wish I could go and climb into a hole somewhere.

Lesson for the day....

JUST WHEN U THINK U KNOW.... U ACTUALLY DONT....

oh yes... and ..... sleep and sufficient prep are essential for a smooth run

First Week

So Far so good

It is interesting to have time to take it all in unlike my first prac.
It is also interesting how organised it all is with workbooks and textbooks.

The Girls did homework over the holidays and so most of this week has been marking of that work but today I did get to witness a demonstration for Natural science on the subject of Indicators in relation to acids and bases.

Still a bit frustrating not having access to the workbook for Natural or Life Science but I am hoping by the end of the week that would have changed.

Other than that, I got my own email address and access codes for the internet etc so I am pretty Chuffed. I also went to one of the Focus groups today which was discussing improvement ideas for classrooms, toilets and computers and it seems that everything is of a high standard with most of the concerns being General maintenance and who to contact with regards to it.

I am also taking one of the Extended lessons on.... wait for it.... CARD MAKING .... the teacher who usually does it is involved with Vogue this term so she asked if I could take it instead.

Out of all the extension lessons like extra maths, extra science, extra biology etc... I ended up with Card making ... Hilarious - but am loving the creative outlet ;-)

My timetable is pretty full but that is mostly due to my efforts to soak up as much information, experience and observation that I can.

Take a look at this week ...

The white blocks are my free periods - 7 frees in one week or 7/35 lessons are free

This will change to less as I get busier and need more frees, I wont be able to observe as much as I would like.

Anyway, halfway through my first week and still smiling....

First Day

My First Day went really well.

Met all the wonderful staff members today, first at Chapel, then at the staff meeting which I found really interesting. They seem really caring and concerned for the children. Got some textbooks and went through the time table with the Teachers - going to be a challenging 7 weeks but I am really looking forward to it.

Already the differences between this practical and the previous one are quite extensive.

I'm really looking forward to this journey ;-)

This is the School I will be at for the next 6 -8 weeks, the place where I will teach and be taught, where I will learn and help others to learn, the place where I hope to connect, experience and hopefully impress.

I am nervous, excited and eager all at once and will keep you updated with my progress.....

Proudly South African

An article written by an American on SA for the Huffington Post

I went on a rant the other day regarding the cost of the 2010 World Cup versus all the critical needs South Africa is facing and whether or not the most vulnerable of this country would gain anything from having the World Cup hosted in their country. At that time, I also had some very positive things to say about our hosts for the 2010 World Cup and I wanted to share that side of the coin as well, because it is equally important.

To say that I have been blown away at the hospitality South Africa has shown the rest of the world would be an understatement. I think back on recent Olympics and struggle to remember much reporting in the USA of athletes from other countries. I remember when a Togolese guy won a bronze medal in kayaking and NBC reported it and I thought to myself, "where are all the other fascinating stories like this one...like the Jamaican bobsledding team." In today's America, sadly, we have drifted so far towards being so US-centric that we only seem to root for the Americans.

Not so here in South Africa. I've been here since early May and each week I have become more and more impressed with the global embrace that South Africans have offered up to the world. On the way to the airport a couple of weeks ago, I heard a radio program that said each day they would focus on one country that would be coming to South Africa for the World Cup, and they would explore not only that sport's history in soccer, but also their politics, religion, and socio-cultural practices. On the television, I've seen numerous programs that focus on a particular country and it's history of soccer and how the history of that country is intertwined with their soccer history. I've seen programs on India, exploring why India enjoys soccer but hasn't really excelled at the global level... yet. And I've seen shows on soccer in Muslim countries. Maybe it's planned, maybe it's unplanned, maybe it's by chance, but it is happening. It's not just about South Africans showing off their varied and multifaceted culture to their global guests, it's also about using this opportunity to educate South Africa on the rest of Planet Earth's inhabitants.

As I moved through my work here in the provinces over the last six weeks, I had a pivotal meeting with the Board members of a rural NGO. They were explaining their guiding program philosophy of Ubuntu. No, not the Linux program. I'm talking about the traditional African philosophy of Ubuntu that essentially says, "No man is an island."

I found a better explanation from Wikipedia:

Archbishop Desmond Tutu further explained Ubuntu in 2008:
One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu - the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can't exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can't be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality -- Ubuntu -- you are known for your generosity.

We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.

To me, Ubuntu is the acceptance of others as parts of the sum total of each of us. And that is exactly what I have experienced during the lead up to, and the initial days of this World Cup. There is nary a South African citizen that I've met on the street, or in shops or restaurants or hotels, that hasn't gone out of their way to greet me and make me feel like I am home. And I don't mean that in the trivial, "Oh, aren't they nice, homey people here... " sort of way. I mean real, genuine interest and questions. People seriously want to know where I come from. What it's like where I live. How does it compare to where I am now. What do I think of South Africa. Oh yes, and what do I think of Bafana Bafana... The questions and conversations are in earnest. They are honest. And they are had with enthusiasm and a thirst to know more. South Africans are drinking deeply from the cup of humanity that has been brought to their doorstep. I would never imagine that an American World Cup or Olympics would ever be this welcoming to the rest of the world. And that saddens me for the state of my home country, but it also makes me feel the pride of the South African people.

I have been truly humbled on this trip. And while I have my gripes regarding development here, I cannot say one negative thing about how South Africa has handled its duties as host and hostess to the world. If I could say one thing to sum up being here during this once-in-a-lifetime experience, it would be that I've learned the value of Ubuntu, and that when found and offered in abundance, the world is indeed a better place to live in.

So, if South Africa accomplishes nothing more on the playing field, it will still have won as a host country. I am a cynic, no doubt about that. And yet I have to admit, I'm a little teary just writing this because I leave for home next weekend and I will be leaving a little piece of myself here in South Africa. I just hope I have learned enough to bring back a little piece of Ubuntu to my homeland, where perhaps with a little caring and a little water, it will take root as naturally as it does here, in the cradle of civilization. It's funny, many people in America still ask me, "are the people in Africa very primitive?" Yes, I know, amazing someone could ask that but they do. And when they do, I usually explain that living in a mud hut does not make one primitive, however, allowing kids to sell drugs to other kids and engage in drive-by killings -- isn't that primitive behavior? I think it is. When I think of Ubuntu and my recent experiences here, I think America has much to learn from Africa in general, in terms of living as a larger village; and as human beings who are all interconnected with each other, each of us having an affect on our brothers and sisters.

As the 2010 Cup slogan goes, "Feel it. It is here." Well, I have felt it, because I am here. Thank you South Africa, for giving me this unexpected gift. I am humbled.

That time AGAIN

YES, it is almost time for the exams and everyone is stressing about them, me being the biggest culprit, but I guess that it what comes from not having started learning yet.

School prac finished very quickly with me being sick for most of the week and having to rush mentor assessments - I left with an "Unfinished" feeling.

I went back last Saturday for their environment day to take photos of the big CLEAN UP and managed to say my sad Goodbyes with promises all round to keep in touch.

Since then I have had 4 phone calls from staff and learners, so it makes me feel that at least I have left a small imprint in their world, and hopefully this will not be the end of it.

Click on the link here to go to the Website and see the photo's and News!

Well that is me until exams are done....

Next installment will probably come with the next placement at Epworth which promises to be a completely new and different experience.

End of Week Three ;-)

I am somewhat surprised that there is only one week left.

Three weeks have passed and when I look back I smile at the vast amount of things I have been exposed to but feel somewhat saddened at the amount of work that has actually been achieved.

Myself and the other two student teachers were just discussing at how some of the staff have no concern for time and arrive 15 - 20 mins late for each lesson. 15mins is a quarter of the lesson time which means a whole term out of a year is lost due to teachers arriving late for the lessons.

If I just look at these three weeks I have been here, the first week was spent marking and doing reports, the second week was only 3 days long so not much work got done and this third week panic set in. Contributing to this was that the teachers who I am working with just don't come to school for one day out of every week. Another day in the life of the learners which is lost.

It is no wonder then that the curriculum does not get finished or that the work is done so superficially in order to rush through the allotted content that the learners are not able to grasp the core concepts. My heart bleeds for them, especially those trying so hard to make something of themselves and to rise above their current situation.

Saying that, I found myself, giving in to the same attitudes to most of the teachers. There are two problem classes - 9a and 11J. I take 11J and 11P for Physics and Biology. The difference in the two classes is quite considerable and it is not really in ability but more in attitude and size. 11J have between 40 - 50 children in the class where as 11P have 30 - 40 in the class. The size of the classrooms also differ. 11J is a big class in an even bigger classroom and are difficult to control. The learners have massive attitudes to go with the big class size and classroom.

I have been losing the battle this week with the physical science where I have been trying to teach science but have been spending most of the lesson explaining the maths behind the science. How the learners were allowed to take maths literacy with physical science I will never understand. Simple mathematical rearranging of equations are beyond the scope they seem to cover in maths literacy. Anyway it all adds up to one frustrated teacher who is being pressurized to get through the curriculum but cant get past the maths or the attitude of the students.

This morning I had my assessment in physical science with 11J. I had a brilliant lesson planned with a demonstration with lenses, application of the curvature in mirrors in the change rooms of clothes shops, how spectacles can correct near or far sightedness.

I walked in there ready but with some trepidation about doing my assessment in the 11J class. That was my first mistake. Then I jumped into establishing how much they remembered from Grade 10. Needless to say I was thrown when they denied knowledge of any grade 10 work they were supposed to have done. Instead of continuing with the plan - I let it get to me that once again - I wouldn't be able to teach Grade 11 science because they didn't have the basics. I gave into frustration and the lesson went pear shaped from the start. 5hours later I had the same lesson but with 11P - I was wondering how to change and adapt the lesson to make it better. I started the same way asking what they had done in grade 10 last year. Not only could they tell me but they had brought their note books with the notes from last year in them and were able to show me what they had done. So my lesson went really well, better than I had hoped it would go. And as Murphy would have it the lesson that went really well was not the one in which I was being assessed in, but the conditions were different, the students more conscientious and the class is smaller and more manageable.

On an shock note.... One of the student teachers was trying to control the habit the students have of bunking class or slipping out to go and smoke. So when one of the main culprits went to leave for the toilet - she asked him to stay for the important section she was discussing so he stood at the door, unzipped his trousers and stood there for 5mins before he urinated in the bin egged on by cheers from his peers.

Two Weeks of Rurality

Two Weeks in and I'm getting used to things - or am I?

I still cant get used to the "toilets" with the stench, the flies and the dangerous snakes ( a Mamba was spotted) but I am getting used to the Africa time where nothing is urgent and things are done ... when they get done. Lessons start 20 - 30 mins late if they start at all. Lesson plans for the day are either used by the teacher to teach or the teacher suddenly changes the plan on the way to the class and asks you to start a new section with the class in that lesson.

The first week was reserved for marking exams from last term, submitting marks and writing reports.

The second week was used to start the curriculum for the second term.

We also had two assignments to hand in and our Practical assessment.

This week (being the third week) is only, in essence, 2 days long, one of which we are having another practical assessment.

Next week is the last week of Practical and there are two assignments I haveto hand in that week.

On top of this all we have taken on a little "Project" at the school.

I have set up a website for the school and still need to get all the info to fill in but the basics are there. What we want to do is start up a feeding scheme and I thought a good way to keep it running would be to get people from all over the world to sponsor a child. At R1 a day a child can be fed for R100 - R200 a year. That is less that 20 pounds to feed a child for a year.

People could also sponsor a child's school fees or their ARV's. There are so many children who live alone because their parents have died from AIDS and there are so many who are infected with HIV and do not have access to medicines.

The teachers there do what they can by bringing extra food (but there are too many hungry mouths to feed), if a child is looking really sick they will drive them through to the nearest town to see a doctor, but it is usually too late by then as a 14yr old girl found out, she died a week later from AIDS.

There are many girls who are getting pregnant to get money to live on, and children who are selling drugs to make money or to numb out the hunger pains and the pain of losing their family one after the next.

Last year there were 9 girls in Grade 12 who were pregnant. I found a grade 11 girl with her baby at lunch time, and all the other girls were gathered around her excited and adoring.

The frightening part of it all that those children who are battling are also too proud to accept help. The teachers say that the children don't want to be singled out as struggling so they would rather go hungry than accept food and admit to their fellow students that they are not coping.

I can cope with the lack of sleep, the many major assignments, the lesson preps, etc but the emotional side of it is something that I am really struggling with.

I get to sleep in a warm bed, with a full tummy, I have my family for support and yet I still moan about the most insignificant things in comparison with what these young children have to face.

It is very humbling, and I cant help lose sleep over it, so hopefully we will be able to make a small difference in some other way beside providing our knowledge for their consumption.

For those wanting to take a peek at the unfinished website.... http://sites.google.com/site/mpolwenischool/

Day Three

This morning the principle spoke to the staff about the learners arriving late and said it needs to be monitored & dealt with. More than half the school is coming late which is not acceptable. He also spoke about the learners bunking classes: “Learning takes place in the classroom not outside. If they don’t want to learn they must go home.”

School uniform is varied – Short white socks, short blue socks & long blue socks. Different T-shirts under white shirts, different coloured belts with a variety of buckles which make certain statements.

How much leeway do you give in situations like this when students walk such long distances or catch public transport? Are you strict and they just have to make sure they wake up really early to get to school or do you make allowances here that you wouldn’t at an urban school? The same question applies to their uniform – there are those who are more fortunate but the majority are poor and only have one uniform which is torn and tattered. There are not many learners who can afford more than one uniform or the school jersey so they wear T shirts underneath if it is cold and to preserve the uniform so it can be worn the next day. I have always wondered about the purpose of school uniforms, is it to control and discipline or is it to protect the poorer student from feeling disadvantages and puts everyone on a par, does it instil a sense of belonging and pride?

I found it very moving that most students do take pride in their uniform and was interested to see that after the long and dusty walk to school they get water and clean up their dirty dusty shoes. While others have their shirts out, no ties, socks down and dusty dirty shoes.

Another interesting thing happened today – one of the teachers has lost a student’s exam paper and can’t find it – what happens to the students marks in this case? It is not the students fault and they shouldn’t be made to pay for something which is the teachers fault.

Every teacher has a format to fill in for lesson planning, most started the year off well but have got behind. Some have only done plans for January and February. Is it possible to stay on top of things with all the admin that is imposed on teachers?

There is a 3 day waiting period if you want anything photo copied, so planning for y our lessons is KEY. One thing I am definitely learning is how important it is to be organised and what can go wrong if you are not.

Two other things happened today that were interesting: my life science teacher did revision with her class and it was all in Zulu so for an hour I sat like a fish out of water not understanding a word of what was going on. It made me wonder what her motives were. Does she speak Zulu to ensure that they understand and thus is helping them or is it a disadvantage in that their English is suffering and when it comes to the exam they will have to understand, read and write in English.

The second thing which was a cause for concern for me was in the physical science lesson. The teacher explained that he was about to do a demonstration with a very strong acid. He said “ If you happen to drink this strong acid you must not drink water it will make it worse – you need to drink a strong base like sodium hydroxide to neutralise it” he then left the acid on the table and after the class had finished the first thing the learners did was rush up to fiddle with it.

I found this statement rather careless as I don’t think it stresses the danger but rather gives the learners something to “try”. They might interpret that it is ok to drink as long as they drink the base afterwards to neutralise. But maybe I am not giving them enough credit?

Saying that I am enjoying the fact that he is not Zulu so is in a similar situation to me where the students talk in their home language and then laugh at him when he attempt to use a couple of words like above (phezulu) and below (phansi) when stressing the super and subscript notations.

Today I got to observe the teachers in action for the first time and although, the one that was in Zulu was completely beyond me i did get to observe one in English from the Physical science teacher. He has an interesting way of teaching and uses a lot of repetition both from himself and from the learners who are prompted to repeat after him. I am interested to see how effective this type of teaching is. But one thing I did notice was that not much material is covered in an hour. What I was able to summarise into 10 lines took an entire hour to cover – so that is an interesting indication for when I am planning and how I need to structure the lesson and the time it will take.

I took an opportunity to talk to some of the learners and the teachers, it is so refreshing to have such friendly reception and everyone is so eager to help all of the time.

Is this what happens when you are stripped of all the luxuries in life and only have the bare minimum? It always amazes me how poor people always seem to be happy and smiling while those who are rich are burdened and unhappy. Yes I am generalising but it is an interesting concept.

Best I get to the lesson planning I need to do for tomorrow...

Day two

So after my shell shocked reaction yesterday and not much sleep last night I hauled myself out of bed this morning wondering what today would hold. . .

... and it was much of the same... except this time I was prepared with, my toilet roll in my bag and my scientific calculator.

I spent most of today helping the teachers out with recording marks, marking exam papers and showing the teachers how to work out the calculations, like converting a mark out of 100 into a mark out of 10, adding it to a mark out of 25 to get a mark out of 35 then converting to a percentage and finding the average and the median. We did this during class as we did yesterday but today the teachers were prepared and had a learner copy from a textbook onto the board while all the other learners copied that down we caught up with the admin which should have been in yesterday.

At lunch time I had a chance to chat to some of the teachers in the staff room and I found it quite daunting that they have so many challenges to deal with, and interesting how they deal with these challenges on a daily basis.

My teacher mentor asked me for the work I had prepared so she could look at it tonight and use it to prepare for the lessons tomorrow - so it looks like I might get to observe some actual teaching tomorrow.

Hmmm, yes I suppose I do come across as a bit cynical, but I am just so frustrated for the learners who end up suffering due to the lack of resources, the disorganisation and general lack of interest.

If only it were an ideal world and everyone had equal opportunities....

... yet still they find time to smile (so at least I can say I learnt something today)

First Day at the Rural School

A Picture paints a thousand words....

But just in case this one doesnt...

If I had to find a word that would aptly descripe today it would be a "Long Drop"

This is the epitomy of what I experienced and am likely to experience for the rest of my practical teaching.

To say that resources are scarce, is a gross understatement and that is just wrt what the average person would take for granted, like a toilet, toilet paper, running water, etc.

And I havent even begun on the classrooms, textbooks(or lack there of), library (hmmm, if that is what you call a locked room with a few unused books).

Being a microbiologist does not help in this situation where the abultions are breeding grounds for all sorts of microorgamisms and then there is the lack of water so there is NO personal hygiene. I felt like I was being sucked to an invisable abyss of microorganism hell, where they infest us while we remain oblivious.

The studies done on escalators and the underground tubes have nothing on what they would find here. Here they would probably find a whole population of new and varied mutated species.

Okay so I admit my imagination might have run away with me somewhat here, but the reality of it all is that it is a very unhygenic environment which proves to be an excellent vehicle for the transmittion of microbes and diseases.

Getting that out the way, the staff and students were very friendly, the assembly was interesting and personally I found it slightly moving with the principle saying that excuses will not set you free, your future is in your hands and you make of it what you will. Dont blame drugs or the fact you dont have parents or no money.

You can also see he cares about the students.

On the organisation side of things.... there was no organisation. We had to try work out our own timetables based on our subjects and choose certain classes which didnt clash but we could not jump from one to the next anyway so instead of getting exposure of grade 10, 11 and 12 - I am now stuck with 2 Grade 11 classes for life science and physical science - 11J & 11P.

Oh my will have to continue this tomorrow - it is past midnight and I have an early moring as well as a teething baby.....

Curriculum Theories

Curriculum Theories

SuperNova's

Forget the panic which has now reached galactical proportions... I am now Super Super Nervous (or in my own attempt at an African accent.... SupaNovas) and am radiating extensive amounts of nervous energy. So much so that I am finding it particularly difficult to sleep.

I already have a huge problem with sleep - a cute little problem but never the less a sleep depriver called Sienna, so it is not like I need less sleep - in fact I could do with a whole lot more sleep - 2 hours a night is just not cutting it. What little grey matter I have left, does not function well, under these conditions.

Yes, I should be trying to sleep now, but I tried earlier and failed so, when my mind wont let go my fingers usually do, thus the ranting and raving you see before you.

Sleep deprivation tends to increase the proportional size of problems about 100 fold and what could be seen as challenges become insurmountable insolvable problems.

Today I am at the No Money, No life, No friends, No point stage where I am wondering how God could have blessed me with such an Angel knowing full well I was not capable of providing everything I would like to her.

I am stressing about everything from my home life, my studies, my job, my life in general and having a severe case of lack of confidence that I will be able to do any of it at all let alone do it well.

But hopefully tonight I will sleep and when she wakes me up with those adorable butterfly kisses, I will forget that we have so little money and time and just be grateful for what we do have, love, family and each other.

MmmmmPolweni

Today was the day of First contact so, like a child before Christmas, I hardly slept and had so many thoughts running through my mind.

Excitement gripped me from the start masking the inner fear of the reality.

Here I am about to embark on a journey which will either have a positive or negative effect on a group of disadvantaged learners depending on how prepared I am. I find that so daunting.

I feel insufficiently prepared with regards to content and although I realise that textbooks are there to aid us (provided they are available) and that we cant know everything, I still feel as though I should know everything.

It has been sooooo long since I last did the content. I have been out in the working world for a while, hardly using any of the knowledge I acquired, and that saying really is true.... "If you don't use it, You loose it."

So saying that, it looks like I will be spending this vacation studying the relevant content so i am Au fait enough with it to teach and feel comfortable doing it.

I spoke with the Physical Science teachers and they should be covering Chemical change & Wave, sound and light during the time I am there. Not too daunting, I think??
In Life Science I will be doing Life Processes in plants and animals, not sure what I will be covering in the Mathematics syllabus though as we ran out of time.

It will be interesting to see if the other PGCE students are covering the same work at the different schools or if there will be a big difference in the sequence of the curriculum.

It seems rather ironic that the subject I am least confident in is the one where there is the most need in this school and the one which I am most confident in the need is not as great. I suppose it is meant to be so in order for me to gain confidence in those ares in which I need it.




So begins the journey.... watch this space.....

First Practical for PGCE

If Panic had a sound.... what would it sound like?

Perhaps it might sound like the combination of my heart beating in my ears, an internal screeching sound and each cell in my body visibly shaking within their cell walls?

Am I over reacting? Probably !

I suppose it is the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure or maybe it is just that I dont know how I am going to fit this all in....

Today I found out I will be placed at Mpolweni for my first school placement. It is a rural school on the Greytown road


Dont get me wrong, I'm really excited but the panic has definately set in. I hope i am able to contribute and make a difference at the school as well as learn from the experienced teachers there.

It is quite a way to travel everyday but it is in the country side and the trip will give me time to reflect on the day ahead and the day that has passed, so that when I get home to my little girl whom I shall miss so much, I can focus on her totally until bed time. Then while she is sweetly dreaming I can focus on the tasks for the next day.

I am so tempted to press this panic button but I am going to take a deep breath instead and be thankful that I have this amazing opportunity.